Gil from "The Passionates"
            By, Dave Ulrich
            Copyright © Dave Ulrich

                                   GIL
            Got this a few years back at an estate sale. Damn near black
            when I saw it. But I knew. And I was right. Shined up real
            good. If you take something like that and put a little elbow
            in the effort, you gonna to get something stand up real tall
            and look proud. Roy was like that. My boy. That's him, there.
            Here. Right here -- with a mighty young Bill Clinton. Lookit
            Billy there. Knee deep in pussy that year, I betcha. I
            betcha. But my boy. Roy. He was... I'm gonna say ten. Funny
            how he ended up in this here photo. Funny story. See, Roy gets
            himself in trouble at school one day. He's ten, mind you.
            Well he don't want to say the Pledge one day. Seems he read
            some history book didn't sugar coat nothin' about our
            checkered past. You know, of the stars and stripes, I mean.
            And you know, maybe -- maybe that shit's all true. Maybe so.
            Maybe we done some shit, but it's still the best goddamn
            country in the world. And ol' Roy... ten years old! And he
            didn't think much of making no pledge to the flag of a
            country that went and killed a bunch of Indians. Had slaves.
            Burned witches, and what not. But Miss... ah, damn, I wanna
            say -- Miss Friedman. Well she punishes him with a paper. A
            paper 'bout why he loved America. Was a punishment, mind you.
            But ol' Roy goes and writes something no ten year old
            supposed to be writin'. I mean to say it was real smart. Wins
            an award and everything. Next thing we know, he's shakin'
            hands with a young Slick Willie right there in that picture.
            To my mind, before that, he took too much after his mother.
            But, something happened. I don't know what the boy found
            inside him to love the USA like that, ya know -- after he was
            down about it. But whatever it was, it stayed with 'em. Right
            into active duty. And it's funny 'cuz I never thought me
            being a soldier really moved him much one way the other. So
            when he went and wrote up something like that. I guess I
            kinda thought, or hoped, that maybe I had something to do
            with it. That it was his way of saying he thought... you
            know, he was proud of what I done. Even if he was only ten. I
            suppose he was awful young to understand it much. That boy.
            But I never been so proud as when they showed up at my door.
            When I opened it up and saw uniforms. Shiny brass buttons in
            the sunshine, stripes, hats, fresh folded letter in hand. I
            knew. I knew what they was gonna tell me... those goddamned
            crazy people in the Middle East. I gotta tell ya. I always
            said you gotta nuke 'em or just stay the hell out of there.
            But now you know, I know now -- that's just chickenshit
            thinkin'. 'Cuz we went in there, boy howdy. We went in there
            and showed that sonofabitch a thing or two 'bout what we got.
            America ain't gonna sit back and watch no bullshit. I gotta
            dead boy to prove that. A lotta young punks these days look
            at the military like free school. Like extra cash when it
            all get done. Roy didn't go in like that. Roy understood
            what the armed forces is all about. One word: Service.
            Serve. Your. Country. If the United States gonna be so
            great that we'll go and get our hands dirty in some
            crazy country of mindless animals -- just to try and
            save them dumb bastards from themselves... well, you go,
            goddamn it. You go and do what you gotta do and ya don't
            bitch about the fact you never thought you'd see action. You
            want a country like we got, you gotta be willin' to die for
            the opportunities we got. For the opportunity of life it
            gives ya. That's why, Vietnam, I signed up. No drafting this
            ol' boy. I went and killed those yellow commies 'cuz it was
            the right thing to do. You didn't have to drag my ass out
            there crying. And Roy did the same thing in Iraq. Went with a
            clear head to show the world America's strong, 'cuz Americans
            are strong. That's my boy. That's the kinda boy I raised.
            That boy. Tough like his daddy, and made me proud. Yeah. Yeah,
            I'd love him just the same if he lived. But dying in service.
            Wooo. Daddy's proud ol' Roy, you sonofabitch. Sonofabitch. If
            he turned out like his mother, I mighta been the one to kill
            myself. How I ended up with... she didn't... I still can't
            figure how she didn't... How was she not proud? Roy was our
            life work and he died a hero, but she gotta act like it was
            for nothing just 'cuz he died before she did. How long'd she
            think I was gonna sit back and listen to her call our
            masterpiece worthless? A waste of time. Who knows what I'd a
            done if she didn't beat me to it. And it took every bit of
            decency I could manage to arrange for her... after she...
            finally went and did it. Well, I made it as fast and simple
            as her family'd let me. Nothing fancy. Not like Roy. Roy got
            done up real good. Salute and all. Here, I wanna show you
            something else. Just sit tight, I'll bring it out. I was gonna
            give this to Roy when he got back. This was my favorite. My
            baby. And he knew it. He loved it, too. I let him shoot it a
            few times, but he didn't never think I'd go and give it to
            him. I was gonna. I ain't gonna lie to ya. What's hard about
            it all. The only thing that makes it... I can't completely...
            I'm proud. You know. I am. Prouda 'ol Roy, but that...
            that... Roy did die in service. And that's a hell of a thing.
            That's something special. Active duty, out in the thick of...
            sent over and ready to... but that... that -- motherfucker
            who... you ain't supposed to die by the hand of one of your
            own! That mother...! When that fuckin' motherfucker piece of
            shit threw a grenade in my boy's tent... when that sick
            faggot bitch snapped in the head and stole my boy... that
            traitor motherfucker... threw a motherfuckin' grenade... there
            is no punishment, no torture, great enough to -- mean enough
            to make up... every night I shine this up good. Slow. So as to
            enjoy it. And I load it. Slow. Both barrels. Get it good and
            ready. Give it power. Power in waiting. Like a horse ready to
            buck out the gate. Ready to explode -- with a scream so loud
            it's gonna wake the world. And I take it... I take it and I
            stick the barrel in my goddamn mouth. Right in my goddamn...
            and then every night, I take it out. I wait a little bit
            longer. But I take it out. I take it out 'cuz I ain't weak
            like that bitch I married. I ain't weak like that bitch
            traitor that blew up my boy. I'm gonna die fighting.
            That's what we're born to do. Die. Fighting. I always
            said that. I knew it since I was a baby myself. That's
            what every man's gotta do. Go out fighting. Roy woulda. You
            can bet your life on that. Roy woulda. Woulda if he didn't
            get his face scattered across the desert... Roy shined, boy
            howdy. And when he meets me at the gates, he's gonna be prouda
            me. I'm so proud of him. That goddamn boy. Ol' Roy put a
            little elbow in his own life, and he shined up real good for
            his daddy. Real good.



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